Having the power to force compliance does not mean you should use it.
That sentence keeps showing up in different parts of my life.
I learned versions of it in healthcare. I learned it in the salon. I learned it in caregiving. I learned it in my own life.
Authority matters. Expertise matters. Safety matters. Parents have responsibilities. Caregivers have responsibilities. Professionals sometimes have to make decisions that another person may not like.
But having responsibility is not the same thing as having ownership of another person.
The Useful Question Is Not Only “Can I?”
Sometimes the law, the institution, the job title, the family structure or the circumstances give one person more power than another.
That can create a very tempting shortcut:
I am allowed to make this happen, therefore making it happen must be the right thing to do.
I do not think those are the same question.
I want to know what happens to the person when I use that power.
A Person Can Need Help and Still Have Preferences
An older adult can need assistance and still deserve control over ordinary parts of the day.
A child can be a minor and still experience fear, embarrassment, pain and a very real no.
A client can ask for professional help and still remain the authority on what happens to her own body.
A person can be overwhelmed, disabled, exhausted, frightened or dependent on somebody else and still remain a person.
That sounds obvious when I write it down.
In practice, it is surprisingly easy for convenience, schedules, routines, authority and good intentions to swallow it.
Professional Judgment Includes Knowing When Not to Proceed
In beauty work, I am the person holding the shears, the clippers, the tools and the professional license.
That gives me expertise.
It also gives me responsibility.
Sometimes responsibility means completing the service well.
Sometimes it means stopping.
If somebody is physically fighting a service, terrified, pulling away from cutting tools or unable to participate safely, I do not think professionalism requires me to overpower the situation just because another adult wants the result finished.
I can simply not participate in forcing it.
Dignity Is Not an Extra Feature
This is where beauty from the inside out becomes more than a phrase for me.
Hair matters. Skin matters. Grooming matters. Looking like yourself matters.
So do dignity, autonomy, safety, being listened to and having some say in what happens to your body.
I do not want somebody to leave an interaction looking more polished but feeling less like a person.
That is not my definition of care.
The Standard I Keep Coming Back To
Safety before completion.
Person before procedure.
Consent and participation before convenience whenever the situation allows it.
And when I hold more power in the room, I want to notice that instead of pretending it is irrelevant.
Having the power to force compliance does not mean you should use it.
Sometimes the most respectful use of authority is restraint.
Related: The Professional Holding the Shears Can Simply Not Participate · 17 Years, 364 Days. 17 Years, 366 Days.
